Eye of Arrrrgh-on

I'm still working on getting some of my work published, but I had to take a break because, well, it's kind of hard to explain.

See, I'm working on this science fiction murder mystery, so I was doing some research into which publication's slush pile I should send it to first.

Well, in the course of my research, I stumbled across a number of web pages devoted to a sword-and-sorcery story called "The Eye of Argon." This is a story that apparently appeared in some editor's slush pile years ago, and it kind of developed a cult following, without ever actually being published.

And the reason this thing became so famous is that it's so bad. No not just bad bad. Horrifically bad. Like "Plan 9 from Outer Space" bad.

Except worse.

Here is a comprehensive overview of the Eye of Argon phenomenon complete with a list of relevant hyperlinks composed by Wulf at wulfarchives.com.

Anyway, the reason I had to take the break is I read the first five-or-so pages of "Eye of Argon," and I feel like it's kind of imprinted on my brain. Tony and I drove up to Sonoma County yesterday with our friend Jeff, and some trucker was trying to cut me off on the freeway on ramp in Berkeley, and I shook my fist at him shouting "Prepare to meet thy maker in the Stygian haunts of Hell, barbarian!"

We went to Andy's farm stand up in Sebastopol, and then we all went and saw my family's new kittens, had lunch in Santa Rosa with my family. You know just kind of relaxed, took things easy, and I felt like maybe I was recovering.

And then we came back home through Valley of the Moon, so we stopped in Sonoma. Now this is the first time I'd ever seen the chickens in Sonoma. Supposedly Sonoma is famous for these chickens who live in the town square. Well, I'd never seen them, but yesterday, for the first time, I saw them.

And when I saw them, I said something like "Jeff! Tony! Behold the pulletly pecking that even now consigns the crawling hard-shelled beings of Sonoma to the roiling digestive juices of this burg's semi-feral feathered totems!"

It's just not safe for me to write fiction in this condition!

Kurt "big daddy" True
16 january 2005