Big Ass Party

Well, the Kurt and Tony tree trimming party 2004 is now history, and, observing a long-standing tradition, our guests partook abundantly of our hospitality while blithely overlooking any obligation to trim the actual tree.

It was a good party anyway, though. I made a kosher turkey. That was all they had at the store was kosher turkeys. $1.89 a pound! I was a little put off by the price, but that was the best damn turkey I think I ever made.

I shouldn't be surprised. I love kosher food. I was thinking next year I might do a whole kosher theme. Maybe make little snowmen out of gefilte fish.

But this is what bugs me about kosher food. You pay all that extra money, and then you're going through the same checkout line with people buying non-kosher food. The lady behind me had pork rinds and a pound of bacon. I wanted to say, "Lady, I'm paying thirty bucks for this turkey. Would you mind not defiling it, please."

It's like when you buy a new car, you know. You just want it to stay nice.

Anyway, you know how turkey makes you sleepy? Well, kosher turkey does not make you sleepy. They must not inject that funny chemical into it, triptofan or whatever it's called.

In fact, the party went 'til 2AM, owing, I think, not only to the lack of narcotic food items but also my accidental discovery of some long forgotten board games (The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and Barbie Queen of the Prom) while ransacking the house looking for Christmas ornaments.

I bet we would have gone all night if I'd gotten out the Monopoly.

Kurt "big daddy" True
12 december 2004