Vegas widow

I'm a Vegas widow this weekend.

Tony's had so much to deal with the past couple of months, I told him he should go somewhere and relax this weekend with one of his friends. So, long story short, he and the teenager have been at Treasure Island since Friday night, and from the sounds of it, having a great time. The teenager can't gamble, naturally, but there's lots of stuff for the young people in Vegas these days. There's all that virtual reality and motion simulator type rides. I understand there's a Krispey Kreme Donut place and a Ben & Jerry's right there on the casino level at TI, which, you know, when you're a teenager, it's not a problem to do Krispey Kreme Donuts, Ben & Jerry's and motion simulators all on the same trip.

Me, I've been trying to enjoy my brief taste of the bachelor life as best I can. I told Jeffrey "Come on over, and we'll go to the video store and get a movie where they blow stuff up," so Jeffrey came over Friday night, and we were having a hard time finding an action movie that we both hadn't seen before and that contained an acceptable ratio of plot-to-explosions, so I suggested "Hey, let's get this remake of 'Shaft.' You know they remade 'Shaft' a few years ago, and it's got Samuel L. Jackson in it." And Samuel L. Jackson, well, you can't really go wrong with Samuel L. Jackson. You know, what Ethel Merman is to musical comedy, that's pretty much what Samuel L. Jackson is to whooping ass.

So I say "Jeffrey, whattya say? Wanna get the remake of 'Shaft'?"

And Jeffrey says "What's 'Shaft'?"

I said, "You know. He's the cat who won't cop out? When there's danger all about? Shaft! "

Jeffrey just looks at me like I'm crazy.

I said "He's a complicated man who no one understand 'cept for his woman?"

Total blank. The kid has no clue.

I said "OK, that settles it. We're getting 'Shaft.' At this point I feel like your cultural literacy is hanging in the balance here."

So we got it, and it was cool, and there's some car crashes and stuff, and Samuel L. Jackson definitely whoops some ass, but it really kind of left me wanting more. I feel like Sam left some ass on the table, if you know what I mean.

And then, the funniest thing happend, it was my Dad's birthday yesterday, and I inadvertently negativized the picture of him blowing out his birthday candles, and danged if he doesn't look just like Isaac Hayes on the cover of the "Black Moses" LP.

You know that Dad is a bad mutha…

Shutcho mouth!

But I'm talkin' 'bout Dad!

Kurt "big daddy" True
5 february 2006