Lost Arti-fat

Tomorrow we head down to West Hollywood for my birthday, me Tony and Jeffrey.

Why West Hollywood?

Well, King Tut is at the L.A. County Art Museum, and I wanted to see him for my birthday, and LACMA is just a straight shot down La Cienega from the West Hollywood Ramada.

Well, and also, there's the International Male Store.

The International Male Store is this boutique with… well… unconventional clothing and accessories.

I never knew it existed until I went down to Hollywood with Tony when we first met, 12 years ago. We were staying at the Ramada, and we went walking down Santa Monica Boulevard, and there was the International Male Store.

Now, at this point "Seinfeld" was on the air, and, though I'm not a real TV person, I'd seen "Seinfeld" a couple of times, and I thought it was really funny, and one of the episodes I'd seen that I thought was really funny was the "Puffy Shirt" episode.

Remember the "Puffy Shirt" episode?

That's the one where Jerry is dating this fashion designer, and he gets talked into wearing this outrageous frilly pirate shirt that she's designed. And then he goes on "The Tonight Show" wearing this shirt. It might not sound real funny, but trust me. You see the Puffy Shirt, and it's funny. You see the Puffy Shirt, and you can't not laugh. It's that funny.

Well, back to the International Male Store. I'm in The International Male Store with Tony. It's 1993, I'm going through the racks, and I pull out this big ruffly shirt.

AND IT'S THE PUFFY SHIRT!

And I say "Hey! Look! It's the Puffy Shirt! This is the Puffy Shirt! From 'Seinfeld!'"

Well, the chick who's working the floor, she says to me "Oh, Seinfeld. Yeah, the wardrobe people from that show come here all the time. They buy a whole bunch of clothes in different sizes. Most of it they return, but some of the stuff they use in the show."

But apparently, the Puffy Shirt was funny enough that they were able to build a whole episode around it.

Now, that is one funny shirt.

Ever since that trip, it's hard for me to watch "Seinfeld" because I'm always looking for the International Male Store clothes.

Another great discovery on that trip was Johnny's Fat Boy in downtown L.A. I was so taken by their logo, a morbidly obese child holding a tray of fried food, I asked Tony to see if the waitress would give him a menu. (Waitresses will do anything for Tony.)

I was thinking I'd take it down to L.A. with us. I mean, King Tut artifacts and a Johnny's Fat Boy menu, is that not a gag photo opportunity of a lifetime?

But this morning my Johnny's Fat Boy menu was gone! Did manage to find my Strawberry Shortcake birthday candle from last year, though.

I guess that's why I identify with King Tut. He apparently never threw anything away either. I plan to be buried with my ceramic shoe collection and Barbie makeup head.

Kurt "big daddy" True
4 november 2005