Cute Little Emails

One December years ago when I worked at the library on the Berkeley campus, one of those cute little chain emails showed up in everybody's inbox that was all about how you shouldn't eat in the library. And this email took the form of a song called "The Library is no Place to Eat," which was sung to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."

Naturally this notion that you weren't supposed to eat in the library struck my coworkers and me as patently absurd. That's all we did was eat! We were bored, demoralized and stuck in mind-numbing dead end jobs. Some days, eating was the only thing that kept us sane.

And naturally, since we worked on a college campus, we could readily obtain a wide variety of cheap unhealthy foods throughout the workday at any number of nearby establishments, like Blondie's, a grease-soaked by-the-slice pizza place immortalized in my hastily-penned response to the cute little chain email.

I post my long lost jingle (also sung to the tune of "Santa Clause is Coming to Town") on kurttrue.com for the first time, having suddenly remembered the lyrics this morning while breakfasting on apple strudel and cold spaghetti.

Chicken fried steak, chocolate soufflée,
Donuts, falafel, cherries flambée.
The library's a great place to chow!

Buffalo wings, burgers and fries
Triple thick shakes and Eskimo pies
The library's a great place to chow!

I got a slice from Blondie's
And sushi with kim chee
And read a Shakespeare folio
From 1623.

Wheeee!

So load up your slop.
Bring it on in.
Tear off a page to wipe off your chin.
The Library's a great place to cho-ooooow!

And how!

Kurt "big daddy" True
5 december 2004